tag:rainbisou.com,2005:/blogs/the-singing-sub-0815b0d9-9bfc-4cc8-bc14-7d6a8fc85f2f?p=1The Singing Sub2018-12-02T14:45:31-08:00Rain Bisoufalsetag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/55362482018-12-02T10:02:21-08:002018-12-02T14:45:31-08:00AftermathEveryone, I’m overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with gratitude at all the support I’ve...<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'>Aftermath</p><p>Everyone, I’m overwhelmed. </p><p>Overwhelmed with gratitude at all the support I’ve received from students, teachers, alumni, friends, family members, the administration, the police, the news media and complete strangers who are thanking me every day for speaking out.</p><p>I’m so grateful for the students who trusted me enough to tell me about the issues happening on campus and grateful for their gentle encouragement when they asked me if I’d be willing to help them resolve them by telling my story. </p><p>Never in a million years did I imagine that the simple act of posting this story on my blog would garner so much attention and inspire such swift action. </p><p>I’m overwhelmed and honored by all of the women and girls coming to me to share their own stories of abuse, many of them who are opening up about it for the first time. </p><p>There is so much light all of a sudden and I’d like for us to keep it glowing and growing. </p><p>Already, by the strength of our numbers and our deep desire for change, we are positively transforming the collective consciousness of this community, and Norwalk will never be the same. </p><p>My desire is to see Norwalk transform into a community where the voices of children are heard, where their stories are believed the first time and not when it’s too late, where those who have trespassed against them are held accountable for their actions without delay, where educators are held to the highest standard, where the climate of every school is absent of a rape culture that permits these situations to happen in the first place, where silence is not golden, and where the development of skills to maintain healthy boundaries, relationships and levels of self-esteem in all but especially female students is given priority both within the curriculum and outside of daily classroom activities. </p><p>Additionally, I am strongly considering initiating the formation of on-campus female empowerment groups to help eliminate the continuation of outdated tendencies for women and girls to compete with one another, teaching them instead to celebrate and support one another and stand in solidarity for a greater cause. The time is ripe for such movements on campus: I strongly believe that if we can teach girls early on to stand up for one another, we can completely eliminate the pattern of slut-shaming that motivates survivors of sexual violence to maintain their silence. </p><p>We can make it happen. There is so much strength in our numbers. We’ve just witnessed it this week. I published “The Teacher Crush” on Wednesday morning . The students and all of you spread it like wildfire so that by the time Thursday morning came around, Mr. Robert Gutierrez didn’t even get to make it through first period before getting escorted out and suspended from teaching. By Friday the story was aired on three local channels and news vans were outside of the school, and an official media statement was released confirming that Mr. Gutierrez had been removed and an investigation was underway. I didn’t do that. WE did that. </p><p>WE can do so much more. </p><p>Let’s work together to change this community for the better. </p><p>We can no longer just rely on the administration to do this work for us. We must all work together to make change happen. We must show how much we care for our future generations’ safety and healthy evolution. Parents, students and community members must ALL become involved, just as we have in the past few days. </p><p>Imagine what we can achieve by maintaining this momentum?</p><p>Are you ready?</p><p><br></p><p>—————————-</p><p>To read my story, “The Teacher Crush,” please click on the link below: </p><p><br></p><p data-npf='{"type":"link","url":"https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Frainbisou.com%2Fthe-singing-sub&t=NDIwODIxN2NlYTNhYzIyYjJmMzcyMTYwYzU1MjI3MmEwM2I3MTkxOCxjZWRhZTZhYWVhMzZjYWU5ZTA0ZWRlMjk5ZjI0NjI4NGFhMWM3NDY3","display_url":"https://rainbisou.com/the-singing-sub","title":"Rain Bisou - The Singing Sub","description":"The Singing Sub - Blog for Rain Bisou, a R&B/Soul artist from Los Angeles","site_name":"rainbisou.com","poster":[{"url":"https://66.media.tumblr.com/c6aebbb338fe8f169f493fa5790d9643/tumblr_pj4g3eyaWC1spzbbm_540.jpg","type":"image/jpeg","width":1600,"height":900}]}' class="npf_link"><a href="https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Frainbisou.com%2Fthe-singing-sub&t=NDIwODIxN2NlYTNhYzIyYjJmMzcyMTYwYzU1MjI3MmEwM2I3MTkxOCxjZWRhZTZhYWVhMzZjYWU5ZTA0ZWRlMjk5ZjI0NjI4NGFhMWM3NDY3" target="_blank">Rain Bisou - The Singing Sub</a></p>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/55258942018-11-23T17:53:18-08:002018-11-23T21:15:17-08:00buddhaprayerbeads:
7 Simple Ways to Start Minimalism.<img src="https://66.media.tumblr.com/0a6fc5d8c183a2ac98cab5ce144ea236/tumblr_pikxcoYfgh1vybekjo1_500.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" /><br> <br><img src="https://66.media.tumblr.com/b484177f625218f58158b9e22143b298/tumblr_pikxcoYfgh1vybekjo2_500.png" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" /><br> <br><p><a href="http://buddhaprayerbeads.tumblr.com/post/180367188549/7-simple-ways-to-start-minimalism" class="tumblr_blog">buddhaprayerbeads</a>:</p>
<blockquote><h2><b>7 Simple Ways to Start Minimalism.</b></h2></blockquote>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/55142902018-11-14T18:12:34-08:002018-11-14T18:45:26-08:00Covert InsultsWe sat in the classroom together, the three of us. A butch lesbian who insists on...<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'>Covert Insults</p><p>We sat in the classroom together, the three of us. A butch lesbian who insists on simply being called “Sebastian,” the sporty cheer coach who serves as my classroom aide, and me. </p><p><br></p><p>My assignment ends tomorrow and we were discussing what life would be like with the regular teacher. </p><p><br></p><p>“The other teachers tell me she’s got her good days and her bad days,” Coach Erica whispered. </p><p><br></p><p>“Yes, she’s got a very strong personality,” Sebastian answered back. “We clash,” she smiled. “I most likely won’t be in here,” she added. </p><p><br></p><p>I like Sebastian. A lot. I’ve been attracted to her since I first laid eyes on her. She’s got short spiky blonde hair, a heavyset figure with a badonkadonk to match, black nerdy glasses and crowns with a small gap between her them. Her confidence is what attracts me. She tells great stories and her aura is impressive. </p><p><br></p><p>“I’ve got a strong personality,” she continued. “And since I’ve got a strong personality and so does she–”</p><p><br></p><p>“You don’t mesh well together?” I asked.</p><p><br></p><p>“There’ll be conflict.” She finished.</p><p><br></p><p>“You’ve got a strong personality, but it isn’t negative,” Coach remarked.</p><p><br></p><p>“ I tell it like it is, and I’ve got no filter. But I won’t speak up about things that aren’t my business. For example,” Here, she turned to face me. “I won’t tell you that I don’t like your hair, that looks stupid. That isn’t something I have to worry about. I don’t wear it. I mean, maybe if you were my partner, I’d say something, because I’d have to stand next to you. I also won’t make any comments about your clothes. That’s not something I need to say to you. I’ll talk about that with my partner… We’ll say something like, "She doesn’t have friends.” Especially the big girls that wear see through tops…“ Here she made a mischievous smile. "We just say, oh, she must not have friends or she wouldn’t walk out looking crazy like that. But it really isn’t my business to say something like that to you unless I’m laying next to you.”</p><p><br></p><p>I nodded intently and then suddenly one of our students asked for help and she moved over to assist him. That’s how the conversation was closed. </p><p><br></p><p>I thought about this. I looked down at the outfit that I was not excited about wearing today… This red juvenile sweater that used to belong to Jen, this army jacket that one of my friend zoned guys never came back for, these faded denim jeans my ex’s mom gave me cause they were too small to fit her daughter, these Nike Air Maxes that are too dusty to be dismissed for being all grey, and my natural, fresh-outta-the-shower hair with overgrown bangs formed into cowlicks. </p><p>I don’t have friends. </p>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/55107932018-11-12T21:16:46-08:002018-11-12T22:45:20-08:00Where to Read My Novel ManuscriptI’m pretty busy working on the novel but I’ll be back...<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'>Where to Read My Novel Manuscript</p><p><br></p><p>I’m pretty busy working on the novel but I’ll be back again soon with more daily stories about my subbing, including what my plans are for my transition away from subbing and completely into singing! </p><p>Cheers! </p><p data-npf='{"type":"link","url":"https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Frainbisou.com%2Fthe-singing-sub&t=NDIwODIxN2NlYTNhYzIyYjJmMzcyMTYwYzU1MjI3MmEwM2I3MTkxOCxjZWRhZTZhYWVhMzZjYWU5ZTA0ZWRlMjk5ZjI0NjI4NGFhMWM3NDY3","display_url":"https://rainbisou.com/the-singing-sub","title":"Rain Bisou - The Singing Sub","description":"The Singing Sub - Blog for Rain Bisou, a R&B/Soul artist from Los Angeles","site_name":"rainbisou.com","poster":[{"url":"https://66.media.tumblr.com/c6aebbb338fe8f169f493fa5790d9643/tumblr_pi49bqqNp31spzbbm_540.jpg","type":"image/jpeg","width":1600,"height":900}]}' class="npf_link"><a href="https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Frainbisou.com%2Fthe-singing-sub&t=NDIwODIxN2NlYTNhYzIyYjJmMzcyMTYwYzU1MjI3MmEwM2I3MTkxOCxjZWRhZTZhYWVhMzZjYWU5ZTA0ZWRlMjk5ZjI0NjI4NGFhMWM3NDY3" target="_blank">Rain Bisou - The Singing Sub</a></p>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/54910582018-10-29T07:27:03-07:002022-01-11T09:34:39-08:00I’m Starting a NovelI’ve been a sub for five years now and I’ve decided to...<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'>I’m Starting a Novel</p><p>I’ve been a sub for five years now and I’ve decided to chronicle some of my adventures in the form of a novel, complete with the lessons I learned from each one. </p><p>I start Thursday. </p><p>The Singing Sub will become a book!</p>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/54628232018-10-09T20:44:41-07:002021-05-30T07:49:06-07:00I’m a Special Ed Teacher NowThat’s right. I’ve taken up a long-term assignment....<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'>I’m a Special Ed Teacher Now</p><p>That’s right. I’ve taken up a long-term assignment. </p><p>I’ll be there until October 24th, at San Pedro High’s Olguin Campus.</p><p>First of all, this school is GORGEOUS. </p><p>It looks like a freaking college campus, and sits by the ocean. You can literally see the water from the upstairs windows.</p><p>Secondly, everyone is supremely supportive and sweet. Everything I need is provided.</p><p>Next, I LOVE my aides. I have several and they’re all beyond sweet, many of them are funny and all of them are helpful and loyal. </p><p>Also, there’s always parking. I never have to worry about fighting someone for a spot. </p><p>Additionally, my classes are tiny (a maximum of 12 students at a time) which means I get to really differentiate instruction and give extra attention to my students who really need more help. </p><p>Finally, I’m a freaking natural at it. I feel myself teaching with ease and connecting with all of my students lovingly and successfully. I truly feel loved and appreciated there, and I’m very giving when it comes to my energy and attention to both the students and the aides. </p><p>I’m learning many important things from this experience. I’m practicing so many new, positive habits. I’m realizing that I can be punctual, organized and responsible on a daily, consistent basis. I know that what I’m learning now is influencing my singing career positively. The importance of planning and a set routine cannot be overly emphasized. Success is all about good habits and everyday progress and I’m excited to say I’m becoming very successful in this position. I see my kids learning and I feel them more excited about coming to school. The children are getting used to me and giving me compliments or simply reacting lovingly in my presence. I get spontaneous hugs, warm greetings with big smiles and attempts at conversation, no matter how small the talk. The aides are offering suggestions and thanking me for my efforts. I lesson plan before I leave and make sure everything is ready for the next day. Today we went on our first field trip, and we’ll be taking weekly trips from now on. I have a wealth of ideas to help the kids improve and I’m thrilled about preparing them for life outside of high school, especially since these kids won’t be earning a diploma and will instead enter adult transitional care programs and will most likely be under the care of adults for the rest of their lives. </p><p>In the meantime, I educate them in practical ways within their intellectual scope of understanding, socialize them to develop good character and connect with them so they’ll feel loved and motivated to be and love themselves. </p><p>I’m so swept up and thrilled to do this work that I feel no need to distract myself from it in any other way. I feel deep down inside that I’m making a difference, and when I think I’m not, I change the curriculum and teach them something I know will set them up for success. </p><p>Today in Life Skills class, for example, I talked to them about why real men wear pink, since several boys in class felt that pink was “gay.” I explained that gay is not something that people can control, and therefore should not be ridiculed or judged, and that pink was not a boy or girl color, but a color for any gender. I showed them videos to prove it. I could see the kids changing their minds about the way they were socialized to understand colour, fashion, gender and sexuality.</p><p>Just because a kid has special needs in school does not mean he’s stupid. We learned that in Forrest Gump. Stupid is as stupid does. Special needs children are wonderful, hilarious, friendly, kind, helpful, sweet, emotionally intelligent, and they really do their best to show that they can learn given their limitations. </p><p>I’m so grateful for this opportunity to work with them and to expand my consciousness as a human being. </p>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/54561342018-10-04T18:35:40-07:002018-10-05T00:00:37-07:00philosophyquotes:
“Give the pupils something to do, not something to learn; and the doing is of...<p><a href="https://philosophyquotes.tumblr.com/post/178741516040/give-the-pupils-something-to-do-not-something-to" class="tumblr_blog">philosophyquotes</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<blockquote>“Give the pupils something to do, not something to learn; and the doing is of such a nature as to demand thinking; learning naturally results.”</blockquote> <p>— John Dewey, Democracy and Education</p>
</blockquote>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/54530862018-10-02T15:56:00-07:002021-11-13T13:54:11-08:00rainbisou:
A Humble PrayerGod, With all of the talent, beauty, intelligence, energy, strength,...<p><a href="http://rainbisou.tumblr.com/post/178679117120/a-humble-prayer-god-with-all-of-the-talent" class="tumblr_blog">rainbisou</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'>A Humble Prayer</p>
<p>God, </p>
<p>With all of the talent, beauty, intelligence, energy, strength, patience, love, compassion and joy you have imbued in me, what would you have me do in your name today? How can I best work as your instrument and do your wonders? Feel free to use me as you see fit, and I’ll be attentive to your call and follow your lead. </p>
<p><br></p>
<p>Amen. </p>
<p><br></p>
<p>Child,</p>
<p>Do what brings you the most joy. Do what fills you most with love. Do what your spirit feels most aligned with. Do what calls your inner knowing to attention. There are so many ways to do my work. Just do it. </p>
<p><br></p>
<p>Do you. </p>
</blockquote>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/54447992018-09-26T14:38:57-07:002018-09-26T15:00:56-07:00More GiftsThis student was in one of the math classes I subbed for at Norwalk High. She called me...<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'>More Gifts</p><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="1280" data-orig-width="960"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/a6d180c7cff6f1363862e8592fca11af/tumblr_pfomswbwwI1spzbbm_540.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" /></figure><p>This student was in one of the math classes I subbed for at Norwalk High. She called me the Best Sub Ever and handed me this adorable caricature inspired by my performance in the classroom shortly before the bell rang. Notice the bangs, long dark hair and the purple dress. I was singing “Como La Flor” by Selena and telling the class about my Selena Tribute Band. </p><p>As simple as this gesture is, it’s also grandiose in that this student shared my vision and was inspired to show me appreciation for sharing my gifts with her. This little caricature is the kind of thing that motivates me to keep going with my dream. I stood before her in casual clothes, in a classroom and she chose to see me as Selena. That’s huge for me…</p><p>People like her encourage me to continue sharing my gift in the classroom… They affirm my sense of purpose. They remind me that I gotta keep going.</p><p>Thank you, Angela ?</p>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/54440362018-09-25T22:12:11-07:002018-09-25T23:30:20-07:00New Habits It takes work to build your way up to success. Success is a habit, and in order to become...<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'>New Habits</p><p> It takes work to build your way up to success. </p><p>Success is a habit, and in order to become successful, you have to work on building new habits to replace the habits that have repeatedly inspired failure. </p><p>Your little daily habits for success are the building blocks for the big, overall enjoyed Success. </p><p>Today’s new habit:</p><p>I’ve gone back to making lists. </p><p>Today, I made a list of all of the tasks I wanted to achieve. I didn’t rely on my memory. I relied on seeing it all laid out before me. I didn’t do anything fancy, either. I simply used the Reminder App on my iPhone.</p><p>I kept looking at the list throughout the day and imagined myself completing all of the tasks. I decided to feel good about completing everything. I decided to become excited about making the most of my time. </p><p>It felt really great to click on my completed tasks: Going to the gym, taking my daughter to swim and to tutoring, making dinner, rehearsing songs, and more. I was able to really focus on the little steps I needed to take to achieve my big goal, which is currently to improve my voice and my body so that I can be the best at my Selena Tribute act while also being an excellent and supportive mommy to Cammie, while also expanding as an artist and a musician, and maintaining my home. </p><p>It’s pretty amazing what a simple list made at the beginning of the day can do. </p><p>I have also started reading affirmations every day. </p><p>Whatever negative beliefs I have noticed I have in my mind, I have decided to make a list of opposite beliefs affirming the opposite. </p><p>For example, I am currently working on changing the belief that I am always late. I know that in order to move forward as an artist and professional singer, I must be punctual. However, it has always been my struggle to be on time to my commitments. So every day, I read the affirmation, “I am always punctual.” Even when I start feeling anxious about being late, I instead take a breath and repeat in my head, “I am punctual.”</p><p>You can do the same. Pay attention to the negative thoughts and beliefs swimming around in your head. Once you identify them, I want you to list them and then take each belief and affirm the opposite. </p><p>For example, beliefs such as “I never do anything right” or “I always procrastinate” will now become “I always do my best, and my best is good enough” and “I always begin my tasks right away, pace myself and finish them long before they are due.” </p><p>Many of us feel like we are not “enough.” This feeling is not yours. This feeling was a belief that someone gifted you long ago that you now carry with you. It is not your birthright. Of course, you are good enough. You are here. That in itself shows that you are enough. </p><p>So next time you feel you aren’t beautiful, smart, wise, thin, or whatever enough you can think of…TELL YOURSELF, </p><p>“I approve of myself.”</p><p>“I love myself.”</p><p>“I am enough.”</p><p>“I have enough.“</p><p>I dare you to challenge those negative beliefs you harbor. I dare you to face them with positivity. Hold them up to the light and watch those shadowy beliefs disappear. You are loved, and you are what we are waiting for.</p><p>Make it a habit to feel good about yourself, my darlings. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you need a helping hand. </p>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/54440372018-09-25T21:45:18-07:002018-09-25T23:30:20-07:00New GoalsLast night I had dinner with one of my new favorite people and I shared my new goals for...<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'>New Goals</p><p>Last night I had dinner with one of my new favorite people and I shared my new goals for this week with him.</p><p>There we sat, having vegan versions of our favorite Thai dishes (finally, a vegan male friend who’s taller than me, good looking, physically fit, creative, confident, intelligent, charming and spiritual) and I affirmed that I wanted to go back to the gym, get in the studio and return to practicing the piano.</p><p>“I can help you with all those things,” he said.</p><p>I laughed, but it pleased me to know that someone could be so interested in helping me with my personal growth, without a second of hesitation.</p><p>But I wanted to show myself I could do it on my own.</p><p>The Universe heard me loud and clear.</p><p>Today, I woke up and subbed for my old choir teacher at my Alma Mater, Norwalk High School, and I noticed that all of the students in her keyboard class were learning from a book that I used to own back when I’d briefly flirted with the idea of recommitting to learning how to play the piano.</p><p>I’ve had this desire for as long as I can remember. Probably since I learned how to write and since I started singing to people… The third grade?</p><p>(Remind me to tell y'all about the accordion story at a later time)</p><p>They were teaching themselves with her guidance and support… Her accountability via a grade and testing.</p><p>“I have more than enough talent, skill, self-discipline and time to dedicate the same amount of energy to learning to play as these high schoolers,” I thought.</p><p>I didn’t have this class available to me when I was in high school… But I’m a grown up now…. Just like I joined the book club and commit to reading daily…I can commit to mastering the instrument I’ve always admired.</p><p>So after school, after picking up Camille, after taking her to field training, after picking up Dymend and picking up Camille from training and taking her to tutoring, after paying my monthly fee and getting a workout on at the gym, after picking Camille up, after doing a quick grocery shop and dropping her and Dymend off, and after finishing my recording session for a new demo that will eventually become a new music video…I left my recording session with thirty minutes to spare, determined to make it to Guitar Center to repurchase this book and begin where I left off.</p><p>It’s never too late.</p><p>Parallels: My beautiful chocolate man of a friend was inspired to learn how to play keys because of Ray, the Ray Charles movie so brilliantly played by Jamie Foxx… And there sat the DVD at my teacher’s desk like the clearest sign, telling me “GO FOR IT” as all the students set up their personal keyboards and began practicing.</p><p>I realized it was true… All that’s ever standing in our way is our lack of self-confidence.</p><p>I don’t have to be that insecure girl anymore.</p><p>I know better now.</p><p>And I’m going for it.</p><p>So… Today, by virtue of simply setting my intentions and telling someone about them… Someone that I admire and use my word impeccably with…i was able to materialize an excellent start to my goals.</p><p>I was in the studio. I went to the gym. And now, I’m about to have a date with my ten-year-old keyboard… Happy birthday, baby ???</p><p>It’s never too late!!!!!</p>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/54426532018-09-24T23:36:29-07:002022-02-01T02:50:20-08:00rainbisou:
New GoalsLast night I had dinner with one of my new favorite people and I shared my new...<p><a href="http://rainbisou.tumblr.com/post/178439942360/new-goals-last-night-i-had-dinner-with-one-of-my" class="tumblr_blog">rainbisou</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'>New Goals</p>
<p>Last night I had dinner with one of my new favorite people and I shared my new goals for this week with him. </p>
<p>There we sat, having vegan versions of our favorite Thai dishes (finally, a vegan male friend who’s taller than me, good looking, physically fit, creative, confident, intelligent, charming and spiritual) and I affirmed that I wanted to go back to the gym, get in the studio and return to practicing the piano. </p>
<p>“I can help you with all those things,” he said. </p>
<p>I laughed, but it pleased me to know that someone could be so interested in helping me with my personal growth, without a second of hesitation. </p>
<p>But I wanted to show myself I could do it on my own. </p>
<p>The Universe heard me loud and clear. </p>
<p>Today, I woke up and subbed for my old choir teacher at my Alma Mater, Norwalk High School, and I noticed that all of the students in her keyboard class were learning from a book that I used to own back when I’d briefly flirted with the idea of recommitting to learning how to play the piano. </p>
<p>I’ve had this desire for as long as I can remember. Probably since I learned how to write and since I started singing to people… The third grade?</p>
<p>(Remind me to tell y'all about the accordion story at a later time)</p>
<p>They were teaching themselves with her guidance and support… Her accountability via a grade and testing. </p>
<p>“I have more than enough talent, skill, self-discipline and time to dedicate the same amount of energy to learning to play as these high schoolers,” I thought. </p>
<p>I didn’t have this class available to me when I was in high school… But I’m a grown up now…. Just like I joined the book club and commit to reading daily…I can commit to mastering the instrument I’ve always admired. </p>
<p>So after school, after picking up Camille, after taking her to field training, after picking up Dymend and picking up Camille from training and taking her to tutoring, after paying my monthly fee and getting a workout on at the gym, after picking Camille up, after doing a quick grocery shop and dropping her and Dymend off, and after finishing my recording session for a new demo that will eventually become a new music video…I left my recording session with thirty minutes to spare, determined to make it to Guitar Center to repurchase this book and begin where I left off. </p>
<p>It’s never too late. </p>
<p>Parallels: My beautiful chocolate man of a friend was inspired to learn how to play keys because of Ray, the Ray Charles movie so brilliantly played by Jamie Foxx… And there sat the DVD at my teacher’s desk like the clearest sign, telling me “GO FOR IT” as all the students set up their personal keyboards and began practicing. </p>
<p>I realized it was true… All that’s ever standing in our way is our lack of self-confidence.</p>
<p>I don’t have to be that insecure girl anymore. </p>
<p>I know better now. </p>
<p>And I’m going for it. </p>
<p>So… Today, by virtue of simply setting my intentions and telling someone about them… Someone that I admire and use my word impeccably with…i was able to materialize an excellent start to my goals. </p>
<p>I was in the studio. I went to the gym. And now, I’m about to have a date with my ten-year-old keyboard… Happy birthday, baby ???</p>
<p>It’s never too late!!!!! </p>
</blockquote>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/54402152018-09-22T22:32:15-07:002018-09-24T14:13:50-07:00Love<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'> </p>
<p>I’m enjoying the new love in my life.</p>
<p>New friends, new students, new artists and musicians in my life who are demonstrating so much love and support towards me.</p>
<p>I am in awe with how many people love me and show their appreciation so easily.</p>
<p>It’s hard for me to believe I used to work so hard to receive something that is now so abundantly given to me.</p>
<p>I feel like I’ve arrived.</p>
<p>All I need is this.</p>
<p>I’m opening up more and more and my self-confidence keeps growing and inspiring others to also shine bright.</p>
<p>In the classroom, at a show, at home…. Everywhere.</p>
<p>I’m beginning to really believe that my dreams are coming true.</p>
<p>All I need to do is keep going.</p>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/54356932018-09-17T00:20:08-07:002018-09-20T10:33:25-07:00Goals<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'> </p>
<p>I want to go on tour with my Selena Quintanilla Tribute Band, Dreaming of You.</p>
<p>I want to perform in stadiums, in festivals, in gigantic concert halls, all over the United States.</p>
<p>I want to wear her famous costumes.</p>
<p>I want to be known for best channeling her voice, and performance style.</p>
<p>I want to flawlessly perform the songs she was not able to perform from her crossover album.</p>
<p>Action Plan:</p>
<p>Watch Selena Quintanilla LIVE videos daily and learn how to mimic her performance style.</p>
<p>Memorize Selena’s repertoire</p>
<p>Go to the gym and to dance classes to prepare body for the tour and to develop her physique</p>
<p>Create Altar for Selena and ask for her assistance daily with realizing the goal.</p>
<p>Continue taking photos and videos of Selena tribute performances and posting them on the Internet</p>
<p>Talk daily to one new person about my goal.</p>
<p>Ready or not….</p>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/54356942018-09-16T20:11:02-07:002018-09-20T10:33:36-07:00A Brave Outburst<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'> </p>
<p>There’s 4 of us on the sectional. Camille is upstairs, passed out on my bed, Benji is in her room on his phone being an emo teenager. My mom lays beside me on the chaise, Adrian sits beside me, and Cesar lounges at the end.</p>
<p>The movie, “How to be a Latin Lover ” ends.</p>
<p>At the ending credits:</p>
<p>Cesar: “So are we gonna have Lazy Sundays every week?”</p>
<p>Me: “It’s only once a month, sorry.”</p>
<p>Mom: “Why? It should be every week, Rina.”</p>
<p>Me: “Psh, people gotta work around here to keep the roof over our heads!”</p>
<p>Mom: “You just gotta get your school stuff together!”</p>
<p>Me: “NO MOM. I’M NOT GONNA BE A TEACHER!”</p>
<p>Silence at the weight of my words.</p>
<p>Not a single reply.</p>
<p>I’m not going to be a teacher. I’m going to sing. Teaching can come later. Way later. I’m going to sing.</p>
<p>I’m talented enough.</p>
<p>I’m good enough.</p>
<p>I’m smart enough.</p>
<p>I’m connected enough.</p>
<p>And ready or not, here I come…</p>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/54356952018-09-12T15:47:43-07:002018-09-20T10:33:46-07:00Unexpected Gifts<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="960" data-orig-width="1280"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/df258f39a2f654ec6c383941a132177e/tumblr_peysn8k36a1spzbbm_1280.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" /></figure>
<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="959" data-orig-width="1280"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/a7f9859a8ba6e62008423d537668444d/tumblr_peysnjOiIS1spzbbm_1280.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" /></figure>
<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'> </p>
<p>Gifts from my 7th graders.</p>
<p>I noticed the teacher’s classroom was in disorder and that her conference period was 7th, meaning she didn’t get a break all day long until the end of the day AND was expected to stay an extra hour after school.</p>
<p>So I began to clean and organize a little bit on her behalf.</p>
<p>Class was dismissed and I was writing down tomorrow’s date on the board when I looked at the desk and noticed this picture on top of my book.</p>
<p>I smiled deeply.</p>
<p>The children always find some way to show you that you’re appreciated, even when you weren’t even expecting a thank you.</p>
<p>I’m humbled ?</p>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/54356962018-09-12T13:04:53-07:002018-09-20T10:34:04-07:00Gossip<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="738" data-orig-width="750"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/e07a0acdcebc189b484e32487e3da5de/tumblr_peyl45XesG1spzbbm_540.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" /></figure>
<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'> </p>
<p>Middle School is all about gossip.</p>
<p>It’s where gossip began for me, anyway.</p>
<p>I never engaged in it, but I felt the energy of my schoolmates as they talked about me and then noticed I’d walked into a room.</p>
<p>It was a horrid feeling at the pit of my stomach, knowing that people who pretended to like me liked talking about me behind my back even more.</p>
<p>You have two choices when you hear gossip: you can participate or you can politely decline.</p>
<p>I was back at the middle school in Palos Verdes again today, with the same Integrated Science class as yesterday.</p>
<p>I was walking around the classroom, monitoring progress when I noticed the back sink was clogged.</p>
<p>I asked, “why is the sink clogged? This will attract mosquitoes.”</p>
<p>One of the students, a very outspoken, colorful girl, said, “I don’t know, she probably dumps her Botox in there.”</p>
<p>My shocked facial expression was the cause of uproar among the entire class.</p>
<p>“Botox?” I asked, still not believing what she’d said aloud.</p>
<p>“Yeah Ms., she’s got botox and implants for sure and everybody knows it, and it looks like she got her cheekbones done. She looks like a Barbie doll that got left out in the sun with her melty face.”</p>
<p>More laughter, and even some words of agreement with the student’s observations.</p>
<p>She continued, “she looks like an eighty-year-old who’s trying to look twenty. And then, when she tries to get our attention, she gets out of her seat and does this,” and imitated her teacher in an ultra diva pose. A student laughed and said, “that’s exactly how she does it!”</p>
<p>I stood there, remembering the time I caught one of my so-called friends imitating the way I walked, talked and all of my mannerisms while I silently walked back into my classroom from the bathroom, while the entire class, including my teacher, sat and watched, so thoroughly entertained they didn’t notice that I was also present.</p>
<p>When she finally noticed I was watching her, she grew embarrassed and tried to apologize but I laughed and said “No! Continue. I want to see how well you can get me down.”</p>
<p>Awkwardly, she continued her little show and when she was finished, she humbly sat and I also took my place at my desk.</p>
<p>Returning from my quick reverie, I looked at my student in front of me, and decided on what to say.</p>
<p>I told her, “You know what, I believe that we shouldn’t say things about people unless they are present and able to defend themselves.”</p>
<p>“She’s not nice to us, Ms. C,” she quipped.</p>
<p>“Nevertheless,” I answered, “ I really think that if you’re talking about someone behind their back—”</p>
<p>“You should say it to their face instead?” She finished.</p>
<p>“Well, yes, but what I meant to say was that when someone is talking about someone else in front of you, they’re probably talking about you in front of others when you’re not around, too. And honestly, you talking about her just doesn’t make me feel good inside.”</p>
<p>She apologized earnestly. “I’m sorry, Ms. C. You’re just a good person.”</p>
<p>“I try to be. And honestly, we don’t need more Mean Girls in the world.”</p>
<p>I honestly believe that these kids disclose to me more than they typically would to a teacher, maybe because I’m young and they don’t see me as an “adult” yet, and I allow those moments of trust to become teachable moments, not just for them but for me, too. By teaching them that gossip is hurtful, even when the person you gossip about isn’t around, I also resolve the hurt I felt when I was gossipped about, both in my school years as well as in my more recent past.</p>
<p>It takes courage and tact to confront someone when their words are unnecessary, unkind, or untrue. But I’m just looking out for the little girls, including my own daughter, who will be enduring this environment and its rites of passage.</p>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/54356972018-09-12T07:30:51-07:002022-02-20T09:03:55-08:00Self-Sabotage<p class="npf_link" data-npf='{"type":"link","url":"https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mindtools.com%2Fpages%2Farticle%2FnewTCS_95.htm&t=MGE0MDFiNmZiMzJkM2ZjYWY1M2UxNThhZGE1Y2MyMjdkYTkwMDI3MCxiMmI0NTcyYzkyYTc4NzdiNWRjZjc5M2NmYTY3ZmNiMWQxOWE2NDRh","display_url":"http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTCS_95.htm","title":"Beating Self-SabotageRecognizing and Overcoming It","description":"Find out how to switch off the negative self-talk that stops us from achieving our dreams.","site_name":"mindtools.com","poster":[{"url":"https://78.media.tumblr.com/3d1b91ebb085bc24cfa41a960c83f9a5/tumblr_pey5007shT1spzbbm_540.jpg","type":"image/jpeg","width":1400,"height":700}]}'><a href="https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mindtools.com%2Fpages%2Farticle%2FnewTCS_95.htm&t=MGE0MDFiNmZiMzJkM2ZjYWY1M2UxNThhZGE1Y2MyMjdkYTkwMDI3MCxiMmI0NTcyYzkyYTc4NzdiNWRjZjc5M2NmYTY3ZmNiMWQxOWE2NDRh" target="_blank">Beating Self-SabotageRecognizing and Overcoming It</a></p>
<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'>Self-Sabotage</p>
<p>Time to come clean.</p>
<p>I’ve been self- sabotaging my success for a very long time. For at least a decade. I make progress, but it is slow, inconsistent, and not long-lasting.</p>
<p>I’ve always wondered: why do I blow off or delay anything that will certainly lead me in the direction of my dreams? Why do I so stubbornly hold my own self back?</p>
<p>I was taken aback with how this article so clearly explained my behaviors and most importantly, why I engaged in them… Particularly, my pervasive tendency to procrastinate, ruin relationships and friendships, deliberately turn down golden opportunities, distract myself with people and situations that only serve to move me further away from my success journey, and engage in negative self-talk.</p>
<p>I may be a positive, encouraging and loving person to others, but I often struggle to even see myself as talented, valuable and capable of achieving my dreams…I often even struggle with visualizing my own dreams realized.</p>
<p>This is why I’m writing this. I feel that if I at least acknowledge this pattern and become aware of it, I can finally replace it with something better… Something like believing in myself as an artist instead of taking the safe route, putting myself out there with more consistency, embracing every opportunity with a demonstration of excellence instead of mediocrity, and letting go of my feelings of unworthiness and my unhealthy, often unconscious tendency to reinforce those feelings through my behavior patterns.</p>
<p>It’s really embarrassing to admit this, but I’m praying someone out there understands what I’m going through and has also been a victim of their own self-sabotage but is willing to change it or has already changed and can provide some encouraging feedback for me.</p>
<p>Because I don’t want to live like this anymore.</p>
<p>I don’t see why I can’t fulfill my dreams when so many people believe in me.</p>
<p>It’s time to fully believe in myself, and behave accordingly, no matter how scary failure and even success may seem.</p>
<p>I won’t know unless I give myself a real chance.</p>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/54356982018-09-11T22:34:31-07:002018-09-20T10:34:33-07:00When Nature Calls<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'>When Nature Calls</p>
<p>One of the most unfortunate aspects of public schools is that the bathrooms aren’t directly beside every classroom. This isn’t kindergarten or preschool. The big kids and the teachers are expected to be able to hold their bladders, sphincters and any other bodily fluids for a greater length of time without suffering any tragic consequences.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, expectations don’t always meet reality.</p>
<p>Take what happened at the Integrated Science class I was subbing for during 5th period today.</p>
<p>A boy raised his hand and asked to go to the bathroom and I said yes, but just as he got up to move towards the bathroom he hurled all over his hands and the floor and even splattered some of the vomit all over this girl’s backpack.</p>
<p>I could tell he was trying hard to contain himself, judging from the way he tried to catch his spew before it fell, so I followed him outside and gave him permission to let it all out on the dead grass.</p>
<p>Class resumed as usual and we continued reading about cacao plant shortages and their effect on the chocolate industry, and I rather enjoyed being a science teacher today, mainly because I was actually teaching instead of just babysitting the kids. Thank God for real lesson plans.</p>
<p>And then, I became very, very tired. It may have been because I was in such a hurry that I didn’t pack water or anything to eat and I ended up having the leftover breakfast foods the kids from homeroom didn’t eat: pears, cartons of pasteurized orange juice and these grape jelly-filled Pillsbury Crescents. I had 3 of each.</p>
<p>I decided to take a nap at my desk during my lunch break.</p>
<p>And I was ok!</p>
<p>But then…</p>
<p>It was the last 10 minutes before the end of the day and then, this thing my brother Pancho and I call THE FEAR happened.</p>
<p>It suddenly and violently hit me: the deepest urge in the universe to empty my bowels completely. I hadn’t felt such a violent need to take a shit in at least 5 years. Maybe it was the pears, or the non-vegan crescents, or the cheap orange juice, or a combination of all three, but I suddenly began to panic.</p>
<p>You see, teachers are expected to keep their shit together, literally, until the end of the day, or to strategically utilize their bathroom breaks at lunch, snack or in between periods. But nobody understands what a vegetarian/vegan girl goes through when she needs to go. We are expected to cultivate what is known as “teacher bladder” aka the talent of holding our bowels and bladders for indefinite amounts of time. But when you try to lead a healthy, fiber and water-filled lifestyle, you can’t possibly achieve the enviable talent of “teacher bladder” and “Sphincter of Steel.” Fuck no.</p>
<p>So there I was, embarrassed as shit, crouching down away from peering and possibly suspicious eyes as I tried to keep it together until 3:02. There was a small office/storage space between the two classrooms, mine and the neighbor’s, and there I waited until the feeling passed. I stood up, and walked out as if I’d never experienced any loss of dignity.</p>
<p>And then the feeling came back. I realized that if I didn’t find a bathroom in the next minute or so, the bucket I’d been staring at in the storage room would become my future privy. I tried using the phone and it wasn’t working. I was too embarrassed to go next door and ask the teacher to watch my kids for me. I had no idea where the closest bathroom was because I’m a SUB and don’t know where anything is here because I can count on both hands how many times I’ve actually been here.</p>
<p>And then, like a sign from God, I spotted a female custodian across the hall. I looked at her sheepishly and asked if she’d do me a favor because I needed to use the bathroom, it was an emergency and I was dying. She put down her broom, rolled her eyes and agreed to watch my seventh graders for the last three minutes of class as I sprinted to the front of the school where the only teacher’s bathrooms were, since all others were being worked on. I went into the counseling office, sweetly asked for the key, and finally made it right on time to the crapper, letting out a loud, hyperbolic sigh of relief as what seemed like three days of entails escaped me.</p>
<p>Feeling like I’d just left a colon hydrotherapy session, I allowed my normal swagger to return and sauntered back to my classroom where the nice custodian lady waited. I profusely expressed my gratitude for her time and she was very sweet about it… She asked me if I’d be staying there as the new teacher and I explained that I was only subbing for the next two days.</p>
<p>I left the school realizing how lucky I’d been that I’d not only run out of gas on a damn bridge and made it out alive but that I also managed not to soil myself in the middle of class like that unfortunate boy who spewed in front of all of his classmates.</p>
<p>God is so good.</p>
<p>But I’m gonna go pack my lunch now and my gas tank is already supplied for more than enough trips to Palos Verdes and back.</p>
<p>Good heavens. May God continue to teach me to be better ???</p>
<p>Anyway, here’s another testimony about Teacher Bladder y'all can enjoy…</p>
<p class="npf_link" data-npf='{"type":"link","url":"https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fboredteachers%2Fvideos%2F270357663795854%2F&t=MjMwMWVmYzJlZTk1N2RjOWM3NmM5MDRmNmMzNTRmMzRmM2I1NjdhZiw4ZDQwN2VlN2UwMzZkOTlkOGU4YmUxYmJlOWQ2ZDNlZWY3NTdiMzRl","display_url":"https://www.facebook.com/boredteachers/videos/270357663795854/","title":"Bored Teachers","description":"\"You can Google it.\" ?\n\n? featuring: Jose Cortez/ Classroomtopia","site_name":"facebook.com","poster":[{"url":"https://78.media.tumblr.com/f1e7e2366cc8e4d5fd176ccfad1b37c1/tumblr_pexgp8lVoK1spzbbm_540.jpg","type":"image/jpeg","width":320,"height":320}]}'><a href="https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fboredteachers%2Fvideos%2F270357663795854%2F&t=MjMwMWVmYzJlZTk1N2RjOWM3NmM5MDRmNmMzNTRmMzRmM2I1NjdhZiw4ZDQwN2VlN2UwMzZkOTlkOGU4YmUxYmJlOWQ2ZDNlZWY3NTdiMzRl" target="_blank">Bored Teachers</a></p>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/54356992018-09-11T16:33:15-07:002018-09-20T10:34:47-07:00Repeated Lessons <p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'> </p>
<p>I’m currently experiencing the residue of my former thought patterns in action.</p>
<p>For instance, the idea that I can’t make it as an artist without my day job.</p>
<p>Artist income is considered to be unpredictable. Some of us work and don’t get paid right away, especially when our clients and managers are waiting for their own checks to clear before they turn around and pay us.</p>
<p>This normally doesn’t phase me, as I typically have had more than enough available and on reserve, but this month is different. This month’s results are the residue of my split beliefs:</p>
<p>On the one hand, I believed I could take three trips in August and get back to work by the time school started up and get called to sub daily and have more than enough gigs to get me by and I guesstimated everything optimistically.</p>
<p>On the other hand, I experienced severe doubt and anxiety underneath these supposed optimistic affirmations of success, prosperity and abundance.</p>
<p>But I said, fuck it. I’m willing it to happen. It will be fine. And, trigger happy, I booked all three trips within a matter of days.</p>
<p>Here’s the problem:</p>
<p>The Universe can’t fully operate for you when you yourself are operating from a split consciousness. You gotta be aligned. You gotta have faith in the plans without a shadow of a doubt because any feelings of doubt will affect the outcome you desire.</p>
<p>Sure enough, I came back from a lovely vacation in San Antonio, Denver and New York City and wasn’t getting called, or I was having technical difficulties, or the plans changed, or stuff got cancelled, and I was left looking at a completely different picture than I hoped for. In red, might I add.</p>
<p>And when I woke up this morning, late because I forgot to set an alarm since I exhaustedly passed out after a long day of subbing, rehearsal, taking Camille to her activities and getting refitted for my Selena costume all the way in buttfuck Egypt aka Ontario, I didn’t prepare jack shit to make today successful. And I paid dearly.</p>
<p>I didn’t have time to go to the grocery store and so I had to run to 7/11 to pack a makeshift lunch for Camille. A $5 lunch cost me $12.50.</p>
<p>I had barely enough time to blow dry the cowlick out of my bangs. I left the rest of my hair down and looking like Selena’s final performance at the Houston Astrodome. Let me make it clear that this was not the look either of us were originally going for.</p>
<p>So much for dressing for the job that I want.</p>
<p>Lastly, my ETA to the school was 7:47 when I left the house and jumped to 7:50. The bell rang at 8 AM, and I irrationally decided, through my headache and sore throat, that I’d drive from Cerritos to Palos Verdes with the gas light on…. To save time. I’d pump gas after school. It would be fine.</p>
<p>I optimistically ignored my intuition.</p>
<p>Fuck it.</p>
<p>There I was, drinking leftover bottled water from last night, listening to Audible’s version of The Conscious Parent, and about to drive over the Vincent Thomas Bridge when my car started slowing down. Thankfully, Brown Sugar was graceful enough to at least let me pull into the left shoulder before calling it quits on me trying to let her run on hopes and dreams instead of Unleaded 87.</p>
<p>I called Jeremy and he came to the rescue in a heartbeat, driving over the bridge and back to get to my lane, pumping the gas with his newly-acquired portable pump and then compassionately hugging and kissing me goodbye before getting back to his pre-work binge of Ozark.</p>
<p>I’m pretty damn lucky he wasn’t already at work, and that he lived in Palos Verdes, right over said bridge that I’d attempted to cross on fumes.</p>
<p>The Universe gives me so many changes to learn so that I could grow… I truly marvel at how nice it is to me no matter how royally I screw up.</p>
<p>I showed up to work late but at least my kids were excited to meet me and the secretary was relieved that I was ok. I was too embarrassed to admit I’d run out of gas so I chose my words very carefully since I hate lying to people, and let it be.</p>
<p>My gas is at a half tank now.</p>
<p>I’m embarrassed to admit this happened to me only a couple of months ago… Under different circumstances, of course. Then, I was lazy. Today, I was in a hurry.</p>
<p>The point is, I need to organize my time and prioritize better. I need to see things as they really are and follow my inner voice. I need to be more practical, combining my idealism with concrete action, so that whatever expectations I have will materialize in alignment with my desires. I can’t afford to be lazy or unorganized because it sets off a butterfly effect into the rest of my life.</p>
<p>How can I break my bad habits and replace them with new ones so that I can streamline my daily activities with success and ease?</p>
<p>I’m tired of feeling like I’m always in a hurry, always late, always forgetting something, always scrambling, always short or flying by the seat of my pants.</p>
<p>I wanna be more intentional and more conscious with my life.</p>
<p>Time to become more prepared… Even if preparation takes time out of my day that I’d rather be using to be productive with something else, I’m realizing how essential it is to my moving up into the next level of my life.</p>
<p>I can’t keep relying on people to rescue me at the last minute or that fortune will suddenly fall on my favor because I’m hoping for the best while freaking out on the inside.</p>
<p>I won’t need to pray that things will work out and that I will get lucky in my negative circumstance when I instead prepare for a positive outcome from the very beginning.</p>
<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="720" data-orig-width="750"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/73efee7f12bf365be0883761851d9252/tumblr_pexig7PDGa1spzbbm_1280.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" /></figure>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/54357002018-09-10T22:04:56-07:002018-09-20T10:35:00-07:00Why I Started This Blog<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'> </p>
<p>Earlier tonight I told my friend I started a new blog (I have two others) and told her my intentions were pretty different for this one. She replied, “do tell….”</p>
<p>So, what are my intentions with this blog? Why am I giving my precious time to writing here?</p>
<p>This is how I answered her:</p>
<p>“I’ve made the decision to not pursue teaching full time. It hurts me even to say it but I simply love making music more and I know I’m never gonna reach my full potential with either if I stay on the fence for another year with both. So I’m documenting my journey as a hybrid teacher/singer and channeling my love of teaching into being an author and motivational speaker and truth teller via my writings, my music and my commitment to my career in music instead of being a body in a classroom with limited reach and resources. And I’m honoring the fact that I’m in the middle right now but I’m super excited about documenting my transition out.”</p>
<p>Honestly, it really got to me, the story in Think and Grow Rich in Chapter 2 about the warriors that burned their ships before entering battle in order to secure a victory mindset and manifest glory. It worked.</p>
<p>I thought about Eminem saying, “success is the only muthafuckin’ option, failure’s not.”</p>
<p>Look at his ass now.</p>
<p>I’ve been stagnant because I’ve always had a plan B. That was the whole point right? That’s what “they” told me to do. Go to college. That’s the backup plan. Get a real job, with benefits. Get an education and you’ll never be without opportunities.</p>
<p>You know what I’m certainly not without at this time?</p>
<p>Student loan debt ?</p>
<p>This isn’t to knock my university education. I loved UCLA. I don’t think I would have graduated on time, even after getting pregnant my sophomore year, if I wasn’t truly passionate about school. I definitely love books and love learning.</p>
<p>But I’m ready to enter the school of hard knocks and make something of myself that a stamped piece of paper could never teach me how to be.</p>
<p>The best part is, I’m not alone on this mission this time.</p>
<p>I’ve got so much support and I’m excited about seeing my goals realized.</p>
<p>There ain’t no other option.</p>
<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="959" data-orig-width="960"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/2bc28620368010be55a68ab36b5cd6b8/tumblr_pevks7r7BU1spzbbm_1280.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" /></figure>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/54357012018-09-10T10:41:45-07:002018-09-20T10:36:00-07:00Riches<p class="npf_quote" data-npf='{"subtype":"quote"}'>Wishing will not bring riches. But desiring riches with a state of mind that becomes an obsession, then planning definite ways and means to acquire riches and backing those plans with persistence which DOES NOT RECOGNIZE FAILURE, will bring riches.</p>
<p>Napoleon Hill</p>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/54357022018-09-10T10:29:01-07:002018-09-20T10:36:18-07:00Musings<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'>What is the dominating dream of your life?</p>
<p>What do you visualize for yourself?</p>
<p>What is your heart’s deepest, most undeniable desire?</p>
<p>Where would you rather be? What would you rather be doing?</p>
<p>What do you truly, madly, deeply want in this life?</p>
<p>Do you know who you are?</p>
<p>Do you know what you’re made of?</p>
<p>Do you know how much power you possess in that big, powerful mind of yours?</p>
<p>You were created in the image of the creator.</p>
<p>Therefore, you are a creator, yourself.</p>
<p>Make shit, and make shit happen.</p>
<p>Choose a definite goal, and place all your energy, all your will power, all your effort, EVERYTHING back of that goal. Every day, take at least ONE step to further yourself towards that cherished goal. And don’t give up until you’ve reached it.</p>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/54357032018-09-10T09:43:33-07:002018-09-20T10:36:30-07:00Making the Most of My Time<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'> </p>
<p>I’m at John Glenn High in Norwalk today.</p>
<p>The last time I was here was for a soccer match where I represented my Alma Mater, Norwalk High, against our supposed rivals at John Glenn. Their school was built next to a dairy farm so we used to make fun of them for their campus always stinking like cow shit.</p>
<p>And now, almost fifteen years later I’m here subbing for a drama class, but I’m bored. The lesson plans the teacher left me were to play them X Men and leave them to their own devices.</p>
<p>I used to cherish the days when I’d simply be invited to kick back and relax with the kids but I now consider this instance of my occupation a waste of time. I’d rather be given instructions that would allow me to interact with them, but there’s really no such opportunity today unless I make one. The lesson plan is the same for all periods.</p>
<p>Oh well. I suppose this is one of those days where I’ll have to find a way to entertain myself. I’m not too much into watching TV or movies, but I’ve brought books.</p>
<p>In fact, I started meeting with a Book Club last night.</p>
<p>We’re reading Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.</p>
<p>I’ve read it before, but I never finished it.</p>
<p>It’s supposedly one of the most powerful books for attracting and creating wealth via the use of divinely inspired ideas and the law of attraction .</p>
<p>Like The Secret, this book suggests that thoughts are things which magnetize what we are thinking of most often to us and that the more we think about what we desire, the easier it is to manifest it within our lives. It states that if we truly wish to amass riches we must be willing to embrace a wealth mentality and allow ourselves to be inspired to action by the creative ideas that float into our consciousness in order to generate the wealth we desire within our real lives.</p>
<p>Further, we must be willing to exchange our natural gifts, talents and energies for said wealth.</p>
<p>Lastly, it emphasizes that we must be steadfast in our desires and not allow any failures or setbacks to interfere with our faith that our vision will materialize. We must possess unwavering faith that our desire is already on its way to us without worrying about the how, simply visualizing and working towards our success until we are living it. We must be determined, we must persevere, and we must truly believe that we will achieve what we desire, no matter what the outside circumstances are.</p>
<p>So far, I’ve really enjoyed the book club. Yesterday was the first meeting and I met with my pastor’s friends and colleagues, all members of different New Age churches, also known as Centers for Spiritual Living. I was the youngest and one of the only women of color in the group. My friend Marcos showed up with me, also one of only two men of color.</p>
<p>We all went around the room and shared our intentions for joining the group. Many were there to socialize, but some had truly deep intentions for committing to 13 weeks’ worth of Sundays for two hours, smack in the middle of the afternoon. Many were interested in becoming rich. Some acknowledged that they also took issue with the idea of even being rich, myself included, and hoped that by being in this class they could abandon such limiting attitudes towards wealth. Others, like me, took a more candid approach and detailed exactly what they wished to get out of the class.</p>
<p>Some were retired and needed to feel more comfortable, fiscally. Others had a deep desire to give more to the world and knew the only way they could was if they had more to give. My friend Marcos confessed that he wished to never give up the joy of making things, and wished to be financially free in order to do so.</p>
<p>I confessed that I came from a family that did not know the secret to becoming wealthy and that I’d been trained to believe that hard work and an education were the true pathways to success. I had attained a degree and chosen a stable career path, and yet, I was dissatisfied and still truly wished to be an entrepreneur, fully focusing on my dreams as an artist instead of engaging in the low level jobs and occupations that I settled for, where I was plagued with the fearful belief that if I did not have a “real job,” I would end up broke and unable to support my daughter. I shared that I had lofty dreams of high budget music videos, performances, elaborate costumes and the deep desire to travel the world with my daughter and home school her while I performed so that we would discover our world together.</p>
<p>I told them about me being on the fence between becoming a teacher and making music a hobby and giving up teaching completely to fully pursue music, along with my deep desire to let go of my fears in order to take a leap of faith in the direction of my dreams.</p>
<p>I told them that I prayed this class, along with their support, would be the catalyst for the next phase of big magic in my life.</p>
<p>Because truthfully, it isn’t enough for me to do cover gigs… Even the high paying ones with amazing musicians. I’m an artist and I have stories to tell and songs to share.</p>
<p>Additionally, it isn’t enough for me to simply teach. I love singing and writing too much. I even fantasize about writing novels or self help books.</p>
<p>I definitely don’t want to settle for a simple life… For living small.</p>
<p>So here’s my chance to be honest with myself:</p>
<p>If money were not an object, and if fear of failure weren’t part of the equation…</p>
<p>What would I be doing with my time right now?</p>
<p>Firstly, I’d be in dance classes. I have always wanted to be an incredible presence onstage, dancing along to my songs.</p>
<p>Secondly, I’d make more time to be in the studio making new music and rehearsing my songs in order to deliver onstage performances that I’d be immensely proud of.</p>
<p>Next, I’d make more music videos and invest more time into my appearance for my performances, photos and videos to authentically express who I really am on the inside.</p>
<p>I’d have weekly voice lessons.</p>
<p>I’d invest in learning more about how to be a better business woman in this industry.</p>
<p>I’d make more moves in commercial music.</p>
<p>I’d learn to master an instrument.</p>
<p>I’d market myself better on social media.</p>
<p>I’d book more shows and hire my favorite musicians to accompany me in playing my original songs.</p>
<p>The end goal would be that I would make my creativity the center of my life and that sharing it would fulfill me and inspire others.</p>
<p>I’m no longer afraid. I understand now why I’m not attracting long term subbing jobs and why my full time position at Banning High for this fall didn’t work out.</p>
<p>I’m getting ready to be what I truly want to be.</p>
<p>Each day I show myself that I can do this… That I can devote my life to creativity and still win, and still have enough to be comfortable with my daughter.</p>
<p>I’m ready to take this leap of faith.</p>
<p>Here’s the book, by the way. I truly recommend it to anyone who wants to live outside of the comfort zone and away from their preconditioned notions of what their lives should be like. If you’re a dreamer, like me, this book is for you.</p>
<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="1060" data-orig-width="750"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/fa9fde9d301a30d29cdde93dfc39069a/tumblr_peunj805m81spzbbm_1280.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" /></figure>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/54357042018-09-09T02:01:01-07:002018-09-20T10:36:43-07:00Don’t Wanna Come Down<figure class="tmblr-full tmblr-embed" data-npf='{"type":"video","provider":"youtube","url":"https://youtu.be/PHYQP1PiCDQ","embed_url":"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHYQP1PiCDQ","embed_html":"<iframe width=\"540\" height=\"304\" id=\"youtube_iframe\" src=\"https://www.youtube.com/embed/PHYQP1PiCDQ?feature=oembed&amp;enablejsapi=1&amp;origin=https://safe.txmblr.com&amp;wmode=opaque\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"autoplay; encrypted-media\" allowfullscreen></iframe>","poster":[{"url":"https://78.media.tumblr.com/fab7aff4a77e1a2670b225e54edf313c/tumblr_pes6dmOce31spzbbm_540.jpg","type":"image/jpeg","width":480,"height":360}],"metadata":{"id":"PHYQP1PiCDQ"},"attribution":{"type":"app","url":"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHYQP1PiCDQ","app_name":"youtube","display_text":"NadeGreNade Productions - Rain Bisou - Dont Wanna Come Down- Produced by NadeGreNade"}}' data-orig-height="304" data-orig-width="540" data-provider="youtube" data-url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHYQP1PiCDQ"><iframe allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="304" id="youtube_iframe" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/PHYQP1PiCDQ?feature=oembed&enablejsapi=1&origin=https://safe.txmblr.com&wmode=opaque" width="540"></iframe></figure>
<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'>Don’t Wanna Come Down</p>
<p>My latest music video. I released it at midnight.</p>
<p>I wrote this song for my ex.</p>
<p>He took me to London for our anniversary last year and it was magical.</p>
<p>We were able to simply connect together, after months of struggling to simply be alone together without a care in the world.</p>
<p>This was the first music video where i made my own costume— the flower crown, the skirt, the Buddha prayer beads… All my own invention. I was influenced by Frida and Lana Del Rey. I even danced.</p>
<p>More to come…</p>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/54357052018-09-09T01:57:40-07:002018-09-20T10:36:54-07:00Unexpected Support<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="1174" data-orig-width="750"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/6f77a06ca0886d8324861dd95cc60d34/tumblr_pes6836u2a1spzbbm_1280.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" /></figure>
<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'> </p>
<p>This is the kind of stuff that gives me life.</p>
<p>THIS.</p>
<p>He was my student last year. He’s a brilliant musician and student. And I’m happy he supports me but I’m even happier he’s in college and still pursuing creativity and by reaching out, he’s giving me an opportunity to mentor him and to encourage him. This is why I do this. This is why I’m an artist and a teacher.</p>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/54357062018-09-08T23:07:59-07:002018-09-20T10:37:06-07:00Music Videos<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'>Music Videos</p>
<p>You can choose to nitpick about your imperfections and the production and and all your flaws but honestly</p>
<p>That shit is exhausting.</p>
<p>It takes courage to share art;</p>
<p>To demonstrate vulnerability;</p>
<p>To simply put yourself OUT THERE</p>
<p>In the land of trolls and haters.</p>
<p>But I promise you</p>
<p>There are more lovers</p>
<p>So pay attention to them.</p>
<p>Your flaws are humanizing.</p>
<p>Your vulnerability is your strength.</p>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/54357072018-09-07T23:05:51-07:002018-09-20T10:37:27-07:00Gigging With Musicians/Singers Who Sound Terrible Without Explanation<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'> </p>
<p>This is literally the most uncomfortable thing in the universe. The show must go on and you need to pretend like your ears aren’t bleeding and like you can still harmonize and or work with whatever godforsaken tone they’re uttering.</p>
<p>You also need to be compassionate. Perhaps they’re having a bad night. Perhaps they’ve been gigging all week and they’re burnt out. Perhaps they are still working on getting “there” musically and this is one opportunity for them to learn from. Perhaps they screwed off preparation and came into the gig not knowing what the fuck they needed to do but showed up anyway yet have no excuse for their past choices.</p>
<p>Compassion still is totally key. They’d do better if they knew better. You have to remember that you once sucked and you still suck sometimes, relative to others you’ve played with. There will always be someone better than you, and someone worse than you.</p>
<p>Instead of making the situation worse with facial expressions that denote displeasure/the urge to run for the hills instead of moving through this experience of secondhand embarrassment, you need to find a way to make the entire unit sound better, despite the weak link/s. At the end of the day, you being in the group while someone in the group is fucking up means everyone is sounding bad… Not just the weakest link.</p>
<p>It’s not gonna make it any better if you don’t swiftly shift gears, and if you can’t simply change the song you gotta find a way to compensate for said sub-par musician.</p>
<p>Lastly, you gotta communicate about the uncomfortable incident. In a very nice way. You don’t need to continue working with people who aren’t at your level musically if you don’t want to, but you aren’t allowed to talk shit about what you find lacking in them to others. You gotta face them head on if you really care that much about their improvement… And it needs to come from a place of love and a desire to continue working with an artist that’s willing to reach your level of professionalism and creativity.</p>
<p>All artists are on their own journeys and have their own paths and their own levels of seriousness about their craft. Each incident with an artist reflects to you what you need to learn in order to improve and evolve on your creative success journey.</p>
<p>Live in love ?</p>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/54357082018-09-07T03:14:11-07:002022-05-18T06:55:48-07:00On Being Selena<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'>On Being Selena</p>
<p>I try my hardest not to think about the fact that I don’t have ass like Selena and that my boobs are bigger than hers and that I don’t really look that much like her and that I don’t really have the dance moves all the way down and that I also have little back rolls that show when I wear my tailored Selena outfits.</p>
<p>I haven’t heard a single criticism from anyone about my interpretation of the Tejana icon, so why engage in negative self-talk? Of course, there’s always room for improvement. Of course, I am not gonna be just like her. There was only one Selena and there is only one me. I am merely interpreting Selena and I’ve always respectfully invited Selena’s spirit to help me channel her best toward her audiences. But I’m only me and every day I work hard at reminding myself that I AM ENOUGH.</p>
<p>This isn’t easy. Every day, I am bombarded with images and conversations that try to convince me otherwise. That’s why I stay away from insecure people. That’s why I silence shit talkers. That’s why I lift people up when they’re not feeling themselves. I am the person I’d like others to be towards me.</p>
<p>It’s not easy being an artist. You’re constantly battling your insecurities and giving yourself permission to express yourself, knowing full well not everyone will like it and that it may never be perfect. You simply must settle with it, and with you being GOOD ENOUGH.</p>
<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="933" data-orig-width="750"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/bbebc2f1ee9b47f71cf6704b3074fd37/tumblr_peunvikrnl1spzbbm_1280.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" /></figure>Rain Bisoutag:rainbisou.com,2005:Post/54357092018-09-07T02:37:42-07:002022-05-18T07:47:01-07:00Sacrifices<p class="npf_quirky" data-npf='{"subtype":"quirky"}'> </p>
<p>What a freaking letdown.</p>
<p>I was all hyped up about subbing for my former choir teacher, Ms. Lanpher, for an entire month at my Alma Mater, Norwalk High, only to get a phone call two days before my assignment informing me that she’d been authorized to return to work already. Just wow.</p>
<p>My world’s flipped upside down and I’ve only paid half of my rent this month. I don’t have a full time assignment or even a long-term, my application at ABC Unified hasn’t been processed and there’s no way in hell I’m going to sub at Gompers Middle School.</p>
<p>I’m literally fully relying on my music career to help me make ends meet this month and I feel like I’m taking a giant leap of faith and acting as if everything is going to be ok when in reality, I have no idea.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, magnificent opportunities have been presenting themselves to show me that I’m capable of more than I believe.</p>
<p>I’ve been juggling this double life as a singing sub for too long, but if you were in my shoes, what would you do?</p>
<p>I’m single. My ex gives me $150 child support monthly. I take care of everything else. I have a dream and I refuse to give up on it. Things are picking up but not enough for me to abandon my day job completely.</p>
<p>I wish I was better prepared for this goal of making it as an artist but I feel like I’m always flying by the seat of my pants.</p>
<p>For years I haven’t been able to decide on whether or not to complete my teaching credential and I’ve waited so long if I’d only started years ago I wouldn’t still be on the fence about it… And I’d have more financial stability… Enough to not worry about bills and to have money to invest in my music.</p>
<p>Colin Kaepernick states, “ believe in something, even if it means sacrificing everything.”</p>
<p>Am I ready to sacrifice my teaching career to embrace my life fully as an artist?</p>
<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="463" data-orig-width="750"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/8c0c5f5ef7e0f395a41f6cc71a2e49b0/tumblr_peuo7vXvpv1spzbbm_1280.jpg" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" /></figure>Rain Bisou